i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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