I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
