your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
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But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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