Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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