I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
