Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
