he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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