Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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