I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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