i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
