Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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