What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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