yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
