I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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