Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I had to cum in my sink.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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