No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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