I just made out with a guy for $7.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
