it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
