wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
