Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
