She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
