Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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