I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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