Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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