shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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