i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
