i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
