I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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