its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
