It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
