Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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