I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Everclear isn't food dammit
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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