4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We have started to decorate penises.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
