That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
