All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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