I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
