What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
