are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.