I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
How external is "for external use only"?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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