i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize