maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize