we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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