I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
