He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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