I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
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