After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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