so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
