I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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