I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize