Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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