how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
