Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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