I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
