You're so nebulous sometimes
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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