she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
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Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
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I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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